So I usually post about hockey and funny things here. I am especially likely to reblog something if a Disney crossover is involved. I like random questions and comments and people saying hi, so don't be shy; feel free to send me an ask doing any of those things if you are so inclined.

Uh, other riveting facts - I live in Chicago, I like coffee and have an unhealthy devotion to home renovation and cooking shows.

vid rec, no, really

trelkez:

svmadelyn:

lazymajor replied to your post:repliesssss
Did cat bb come from a pouch

The vidders never really elaborated on the biological workings of that one. To be fair, they were probably distracted by getting the unicorn just right.

For those who have never seen the majesty of catbaby, I don’t care that you never saw Smallville, okay. Just go forth. staygold-kanerboy, as the person I most recently introduced to this, back me up. Is this vid universally applicable or not.

http://dualbunny.livejournal.com/134239.html

WHAT SAY YOU.

trelkez, you should answer this vital question for the people. I always felt that catbaby came out in the…traditional sense. Was that the consensus, or was it a thing that just - was never contemplated for sanity’s sake, or because it wasn’t important to the integrity of the rest of the vid?

OKAY SO

**** spoilers ****

Clark became capable of bearing children after he was impaled by the Kryptonian unicorn. Then, after Lex got him pregnant, the experiments done on him turned their baby into a catbaby. So, how was Catbaby delivered? I too always imagined a … traditional … assbaby delivery. But if someone’s Catbaby headcanon involves a C-section, that is completely reasonable.

HOW IS THIS MY LIFE HOW ARE THESE MY CHOICES 

Anyway, no, Catbaby was not a pouch baby. That much, we know for sure. 

NAILED IT. Thank you for the confirmation/validation of these vital questions. Decided lack of marsupials, CHECK.

Always remember Catbaby’s mom watching on from Kryptonian…heaven something something:

image

image

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

curlicuecal:

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

Jonathan Toews stares the barrel down thoughtfully once he finally gets all of the packing paper unwrapped. Challenge? Accepted.

Somewhere, Patrick Sharp weeps; a prank has gone awry.

Somewhere else entirely, Patrick Kane shivers and doesn’t know why.

(SORRY. Okay. SORRY, I just - I see things, and these are my instinctive reactions and I am sorry)

"

You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

"
Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)

vid rec, no, really

lazymajor replied to your post:repliesssss
Did cat bb come from a pouch

The vidders never really elaborated on the biological workings of that one. To be fair, they were probably distracted by getting the unicorn just right.

For those who have never seen the majesty of catbaby, I don’t care that you never saw Smallville, okay. Just go forth. staygold-kanerboy, as the person I most recently introduced to this, back me up. Is this vid universally applicable or not.

http://dualbunny.livejournal.com/134239.html

WHAT SAY YOU.

trelkez, you should answer this vital question for the people. I always felt that catbaby came out in the…traditional sense. Was that the consensus, or was it a thing that just - was never contemplated for sanity’s sake, or because it wasn’t important to the integrity of the rest of the vid?

repliesssss

spiritthatdenies replied to your post “aohatsu answered your question:a lament man, if i was a famous hockey…”

I’m not sure if I should be offended or relieved noone wrote mpreg with pouch in this fandom before tbh

I actually can only think of one story with a pouch. Ah, Smallville, you set such unrealistic expectations for my future fannish endeavors/readings.

thenorthface-fp-ao3 replied to your post “aohatsu answered your question:a lament man, if i was a famous hockey…”

I don’t know, they have longggg bus and plane rides, maybe they have team story time en route!

Lalalalala I can’t hear you lalalalala (but if they do omg I hope they are enchanted and I hope Sharpy does voices and I hope Tazer wrinkles his nose because he doesn’t talk like that.)

cinderlily answered to your post “a lament”

Allow me to tell you about the one time I linked to a fic and then remembered the guy’s sister follows me. I died inside.

There was the time I almost favorited something Kaner’s sister had put up on her twitter, and then realized that my last six tweets were responding back to super nice comments about mpreg. I too experienced the dying inside. RPF fandom is hard, you gotta check yo’self.

ninjaboots replied to your post “aohatsu answered your question:a lament man, if i was a famous hockey…”

Oh man, I hope team story time is a thing. There are those who are DEEPLY OFFENDED that Kaner and Tazer get all the good crack, okay, Shawzy personally thinks he would make an awesome secret pregnant wizard-prince.

Lalalalala I can’t hear you BUT if I COULD, I would think that Shawzy would eventually get so irritated about his distinct lack of wizardness that he writes one himself, how hard can it possibly be, he’s high on painkillers and hockey and life. Then he gets comments talking about how OOC his characterization is (BUT IT IS A CHARACTERIZATION OF MYSELF, he says, wounded, disbelieving) and how he should probably use spellcheck (which, fine, conceded, but YOU try writing Andrew Shaw, Gryffindor wizard Captain in space! on your iPhone on the bus in the middle of the night with Bicks drooling on your shoulder and YOU see what comes out, okay) WHATEVER, here’s chapter two where he introduces his second in command, one Lieutenant J. Toews, fuck you all, he presses ‘Post Without Preview’ hopefully/spitefully.

"Is he gonna have a love story with Lead Engineer Kane?" Bicks asks lowly, hopefully. 

"Duh," Shawzy snorts. Those get the most people reading, and Shawzy wants a few kudos, he’s not writing this for his fucking health okay.

aohatsu answered your question:a lament
man, if i was a famous hockey player dude, i would troll google for fic featuring me having mpreg babies. that would be amazing.

I would too. I would want to know if anyone ever gave me like, a pouch, if I had lots of happy endings in stories (it’s fine to suffer along the way!), if I was a wizard or a unicorn or a turtle. I’d want to know all the things.

…it’s good that they’re probably a little busy with the hockey and the money and the hockey to concern themselves over whether they had twins this week or were secret princes having secret babies or are hookers or serial killers.

twoearsandaheart:

twoearsandaheart:

ridiculouslyrachel:

Pendleton the hedgehog.

feelsfictional:  #pfft pendleton  #that’s hedgehog kaner’s undercover name  #still has a fondness for hats

forochel (noted originator of hedgehog kaner): 

 obviously NO ONE will EVER guess that kaner   is a hedgehog

… is what Jonny says to the locker room at large when Shawzy suggests it, hands paused holding a towel against his shower-wet chest.  He spares a glance for Hedgehog Kaner, blithely napping away in human-Kaner’s stall like he just played three 20-minute periods against the Preds.  The final score bore sad indication that he did not.
"Okay, but if we’re out and we start talking to Kaner like he’s there and he’s not, people are going to think we’re crazy,” Shawzy reasons.  (Nothing about this is reasonable).  Antti and Regin are nodding, and when even Hossa tilts his head once to each side consideringly before shrugging, Jonny knows it’s a lost cause.
"Whatever," he grumbles, and drops the towel to start hunting down some fresh boxers.
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twoearsandaheart:

twoearsandaheart:

ridiculouslyrachel:

Pendleton the hedgehog.

feelsfictional

forochel (noted originator of hedgehog kaner): 

obviously NO ONE will EVER guess that kaner   is a hedgehog

… is what Jonny says to the locker room at large when Shawzy suggests it, hands paused holding a towel against his shower-wet chest.  He spares a glance for Hedgehog Kaner, blithely napping away in human-Kaner’s stall like he just played three 20-minute periods against the Preds.  The final score bore sad indication that he did not.

"Okay, but if we’re out and we start talking to Kaner like he’s there and he’s not, people are going to think we’re crazy,” Shawzy reasons.  (Nothing about this is reasonable).  Antti and Regin are nodding, and when even Hossa tilts his head once to each side consideringly before shrugging, Jonny knows it’s a lost cause.

"Whatever," he grumbles, and drops the towel to start hunting down some fresh boxers.

Read More

mosgirl9 replied to your post:a lament
He followed me too, and I just mentioned the word mullet, didn’t even retweet.

…that’s kind of really beautiful. He is just blanket friending mullet enthusiasts. I wonder if you have to be tweeting about a mullet in relation to hockey (i.e., these morons), or if it’s more of a he sees the word mullet, he knows you’re Good People?

THIS IS HIS TIME IN THE SUNLIGHT; Carmelo’s gonna BASK. (I also liked that he tweeted the Trib last night to tell them his work was done. And the Trib actually covered it. Chicago.)

a lament

I knew better than to directly retweet the new pics of The Mullets, but I was lazy and did it anyway! And now Kaner’s barber is following me on twitter.

But he TALKS to him and I guess that makes my vague plans to have a locked fannish twitter more…pressing. I have lots of feelings that anyone who TALKS to P Kane doesn’t need to, um, ever hear about. The barber probably doesn’t even read his list! BUT WHAT IF HE DID and I start talking about the time Kaner had a baby and what if he MENTIONED it in chair conversation and then what if I just suddenly died on a street somewhere and didn’t know why.

I got 99 fourth wall problems; who knew Kaner’s barber would be one!?

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

puckling:

darthtulip:

4/15/14: Blackhawks practice (Chicago Blackhawks Playoff Update, 4/15/14)
My favorite part of this is that when Marian Hossa deigns to go for a high five, you raise your palm to meet his - you don’t trouble him to move.

I feel all warm and fuzzy right now. 

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

The Fake Boyfriends AU

jezzie-jay:

The first time is no way deliberate.  

It’s Jonny’s turn to go to the bar but when he stands up he stumbles a little and lands face first in Kelly-Rae’s cleavage.  Cue epic blushing and apologising and hooting.

“Not a nice way to treat your girl, man,” the guy at the counter says, evil-eyeing the fuck out of Jonny.  “Groping her all up in public like that.  Not cool.”

Jonny’s got evil eyes of his own.  “I fell,” he snaps, before making his first trip back to the table with Kelly-Rae’s extra large vodka.  He has to go back again because none of these losers will help him.  “Also, she’s not my girl,” he says.

“No?” the guy says hopefully.  “Hey, do you think you could introduce us then?”

“I guess,” Jonny shrugs, lifting his beer to his mouth.

“Um,” the guy says.  “You mightn’t want to drink that.”

Jonny gets a new beer, Kelly-Rae gets a new boyfriend and the Puckers get a new member.

“Duncan got jealous,” Kelly-Rae coos the following week.  “He thought Jonny was my boy.”

It’s really not that funny.

“It really is,” Kaner snorts.  “When’s the last time you scored a hot blonde?”

When indeed.

*****

This leads to the second time.

“Hey,” Leddy hisses, shifting over Kaner to squash in beside Jonny.  “Do me a favour, yeah?  Snuggle into me a little.”

“Why?” Jonny groans.

“Coz it worked for Kelly-Rae, didn’t it?  That dude over there is seriously cute and he hasn’t noticed me all night.   I’ve seen him here before, think his name is Moron.”

“Well that would be apt,” Jonny drawls.

Kaner giggles around the straw in his Blue Hawaii.  “Oh, just feel the man up, Jonny,” he says.

Jonny very reluctantly rests his hand on Leddy’s thigh, and an hour later Leds is giving the table a manic thumbs up as he escorts Moron from the bar.

*****

The following week, Kaner’s talking about something funny that happened to his cat when he stops mid-sentence, jaw dropping comically open.  “Oh my god, I don’t believe it,” he gasps.  “It’s Doctor Do Me.”

Everyone has a gawk while Kaner spits at them.  “Jeez, not all at once.”

Doctor Do Me is at the bar, wearing an expensive suit and drinking what looks suspiciously like the plonk that passes for champagne at Hanlons.

Jonny has never hated anybody so instantly in his life.

“Someone has a crush,” Seabs sings.

“Don’t be so flippant about my future husband,” Kaner sniffs, eyes tracking every move Dr. Do One makes.  “I am so going to be the next Mr. Do Me.”

“How many have there been?” Jonny asks.

“I dunno,” Kaner says lifting his own silly umbrella drink and sipping seductively.  “Three?  Four?”

“You are so cliche,” Sharpy grins.  “The NICU nurse and the surgeon.”

“Surgeon?  Try Chief of Medicine,” Kaner scoffs.  “I just need to get him to notice me.  How do I get him to notice me?”

That’s how number three begins.

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